Bit the bullet

By Daisy Dai

I’ve been thinking about death lately, and how the feeling that this
is all going to end doesn’t scare me anymore.
I’m not worried if I made my life something particular or real.

If I were to die tomorrow I would leave in bliss.
I’ve made it to a point in my life where I would be satiated if
this
was it.
The thought of life and death
now coexist.

If this is all I do in this lifetime, it’s enough.
I’ve helped enough people through the tough times.

Been the sparkle in someone’s eyes.
Brought tears of joys to those I love, and
likewise them to mine.

I’ve had true hardships to make me the person I’m supposed to be.
Made it to the other side of the sea.
Now I am just floating, finally free
of feeling terrified of the future.

Of course there is still so much I want to do.
So much life I want to pursue.
People I’d love to love too much,
bodies I’d die to touch.

There are moments where I could
have been bolder.
Situations where I should
have been colder.

And of course I want to grow old.
Live a life that was truly full,
pull you suffocatingly close as I give you a last kiss.
See you here one final time, the one soul I’ll truly miss.

I want to experience another low, another high, another glow.
I want to be remembered as a strong girl,
have more people adore my manic sparkle,
shine in that light just a little bit longer.

But when it’s all said and done,
I’ll enter that chasm knowing I’ve won.

Because I’ll be floating in that ocean
with you
one last time
see the stars of the sun glistening on those rippling waves
feel that peaceful push and pull
see my light in those true blue eyes
shed tears full of mirth,
have them mix with the sea leaving one last mark on this
dying, tiring Earth.

And that’s it. That’s all she wrote.
She bit the bullet,
straight through it,
nothing to it,
and thought,

Wow; Who would have known:
Gun powder tastes sweet.

PC: Vladimir Palyanov